All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
