Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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