we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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