Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
