think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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