She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
