is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
