she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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