i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
