Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize