Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
