Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
