my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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