Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
