she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
