dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
