this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize