He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
