we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize