my mouth tastes like poor choices
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
MIDGETS
????
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
