it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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