I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
