Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
