There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
