Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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