His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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