What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
