i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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