I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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