He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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