I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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