yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
