called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
