you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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