I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
