I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
