Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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