I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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