I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
