Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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