They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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