I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
