Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She's the barista slut.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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