That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
