he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
