why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
