So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
