you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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