My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
