Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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