please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
