He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
