Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
