i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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