White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
