Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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