that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
even my farts smell like vagina
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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