Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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