I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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