You're my little dorito
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
