Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Naked. naked and bneed help.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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