is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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