i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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