and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
