woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
