the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
