i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Damn victory sex feels great
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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